Tassajara Work Period

cleaning chimneys,open hearts
first crisp breeze
hinge between summer and fall

Things are not what they seem

Chikudo Lew Richmond at Vimala Sangha, September 3, 2007 • Download from Vimala Sangha's Teachings page (donate)

“Things are not what they seem, but they are not otherwise” • seeing the pace at which it gets dark • The two halves of Buddhist meditation • First, catching consciousness in the act of putting the world together (and carefully taking that apart) • Second, there is no other world, this world is the pure land • both/and (not either/or) • five step logic system • after thirty or forty years, this gets less mysterious; harder to explain, but less mysterious • sitting with the mind that rests, not the minds that parses • both/and . . . both loving someone and them annoying the hell out of you . . . not either/or • a heart practice, not a mind practice • far beyond all topsy-turvy views • your skin wakes up • looking at each frame • the rope or the snake? • crises, zen sticks and shouting

Hiding a crooked intention (or, Godzilla vs. Dogen!)

Zachary Smith at San Francisco Zen Center, November 14, 2007 Download from SFZC's Shuso blog (donate)

“Even if you might ignore it in order to hide a crooked intention . . . this ignoring would also be continuous practice” • telling the fox that you can’t hide from the law of cause and effect • What happens when you try to ignore the cause of law and effect? Godzilla! • the modernist approach: only human artifice is required to relieve us from our suffering . . . and deliver us from the law of cause and effect • Then . . . something unexpected is awakened, and the first thing he does is eat something beautiful and modern • At the end, “Aaah, Godzilla: our teacher” • Coming to Zen Center for really good reasons, bringing all your humanity, causes and conditions with you • Hard on ourselves -- in another attempt to escape the law of cause and effect • wrecking legs, making a mess of a hand, moved to tears • “the savage complexity” of the condition of our lives • Huhmmmm that hurts • Pain that no longer stirs things up • Continuously avowing, continuous practice • The remarkable moment of screwing up the chant books • No hope . . . it’s a family matter

The transformative function of zazen

Taigen Dan Leighton at Ancient Dragon Zen Gate, May 6, 2007 • Download from Ancient Dragon’s Audio Dharma Talk page (donate)
Zazen mind • Deeper level of awareness than the syntactical, calibrating mind • Just the mind we once had before we were caught up in language • It’s not that zazen will accomplish this transformative process – that’s our acquisitive mind; the moment itself is the transformation • Not just thinking, openness to seeing, to hearing • Bringing awareness to our thoughts, which is different from thinking about our thoughts • This is part of how it is to be Eric or Scott or Steve or whoever we are • Capacity and tolerance and openness, beyond our idea of how much capacity we have • Zazen as about finding creative energy; this creative energy unfolds in our activities in the world; these activities resonate with our zazen • Notice your life interests . . . feel how it resonates with your zazen • Our life is alive right now – it’s very easy to ignore this • Can you feel this energy while you watch a cop show on television, while you do the dishes? • Pay attention to the person sitting on your cushion, you don’t need to run away from that person • Bring yourself back to this mind, in the middle of your day, in the middle of a period of zazen • Remember, oh yeah, I’m alive • karmic entanglement and showing compassion for yourself • Bob Dylan and the price to pay • show up • enjoy

Some assembly required.

Many of the SFZC links are broken now. The new site is excellent. Someday I may fix the old links. And someday, I will start posting again. Cheers.

Humility and humiliation

Abbot Ryushin Paul Haller at San Francisco Zen Center, April 14, 2007 Download from SFZC's Audio Dharma page (donate)

Rodin’s advice to Roethke • the tiger and the bars • the abbot and the palm pilot • “see what’s going on for us . . . feel what’s going on for us . . . and let that register” • a change of heart • asking, with deep sincerity, ‘what’s going on’ • humbling or humiliating • trying to get the Dalai Lama to understand • like learning the guitar or learning to drive • what’s happening is not under our control, which is a lesson in humility • we have the experience and the experience has us – and we love it • discovering how to dispose oneself to this • there’s a craft to it • discover, hopefully with delight, that the world is bigger than what I think it is • putting down what appears to be the life-and-death process of figuring out how to live • our sincere answer to that • moments that inform us who we are, about what we do when afraid, happy • do I run away, or see the color of fear? • explore on a constant basis to discover what’s going on • patience and naru; not so much something we figure out • humbling, but no need to be humiliating • the self-respect, the confidence, the skill, of living the life we have

Zazen Mind

Taigen Dan Leighton at Ancient Dragon Zen Gate, March 12, 2007 • Download from Ancient Dragon’s Audio Dharma Talk page (donate)
A brief word about posture and breath • Thinking about mind in zazen • a traditional approach: the different consciousness • Eye consciousness: there is an eye object, an eye organ, and thus there is awareness, consciousness • Mind consciousness: There are thoughts happening • What our brain secretes • Settling into a deeper place, seeing the patterns of thinking • not the heretical lobotomy school of zen • a zen approach: thinking of not thinking, thinking beyond thinking • foreground and background • not getting rid of the ego, but not getting caught by it • an awareness of thinking beyond thinking • not the thinking that cuts things up • koans using words to put things together, not take them apart • difficult to discuss, but available to all, even first-time sitters • one way to get us to open the door

Anger and conflict

Chikudo Lew Richmond at Vimala Sangha one of a series of classes on Zen and the complexity of daily life, Fall 2004 • Download from Vimala Sangha's Teachings page (donate)

a mistaken idea about zen and anger • what are acute anger and fear? • focus on the needless suffering we create • beyond spontaneous anger, harboring ill will • an obsessive mediation practice that can lay down a groove in your brain • “would you like a newspaper?” • more energy to concentrate in an unwholesome way, easier to let it go • actually feeling the anger, not “being angery” • the truth of anger • broadening the vocabulary of our response • you know, I’m pretty angry with you right now • kind, true, and necessary • find a way to make it workable and find a way to let it go • still carrying that woman

You can't see my not seeing

Zoketsu Norman Fischer at San Francisco Zen Center's Green Gulch Farm, February 25, 2007 • Download from SFZC's Audio Dharma page (donate)

why can’t you see my not seeing? • you can’t see my seeing • consciousness isn’t anything, yet it’s the most important thing • the aging king and the Buddha • how has the seeing itself changed since you were three years old? • Mother and bagels, death and Buddhism, changing the subject • believing we will not die, but misidentifying the self • many feelings that assume that there is an object in the world called yourself • seeing the box, not the empty space inside • this is all a fundamental basis for practice, learn it for yourself, and then don’t think about it • lovingkindness, not as a nice sentiment, but as the expression of how the world actually feels to us • no inside, no outside, and no in between • mountain seat ceremony and the maturing of a uniquely American and Buddhist institution

Meet our life with grandmotherly eyes

Abbot Ryushin Paul Haller at San Francisco Zen Center, December 9, 2006 Download from SFZC's Audio Dharma page (donate)

“soft grandmotherly eyes” • “more inclined toward compassion than criticism” • human history: oh that’s a good idea! let’s go! • “sit down and you just watch yourself go and then you get up and watch yourself go” • “zazen is not a process in which you stop doing, zazen is a process in which we wake up to doing” • like the rules of formal poetry • “do it exactly like this and see what’s happening” • being undone by our own doing • the five ranks • don’t be so caught up in the stories you tell yourself • “our so-called waking life’s actually not that different [from dreams] except that in our waking life we confuse ourselves by thinking this is real . . . no, it’s a magnificent mistake . . . truly magnificent, but truly not the only truth in town” • how are you going to learn how to be you? by being you • could this day be some turning point in your life? • who gets the most out of practice? • laying down a burden • letting the water of a new life flow • maybe being you isn’t such a terrible affliction after all

Reclaiming the life of desire

Steve Weintraub at San Francisco Zen Center, September 23, 2006 • Download from SFZC's Audio Dharma page (donate)

the second noble truth, emptiness, and jumping off a 100-foot pole • enlightenment is just another bad idea • how to kill the heat • desiring things is not the bad guy • a big pasture, not a Procrustean bed • throw away your evil desires? where would you throw them away? • leaving evil desires off the bus? • trying to go to the middle, always missing, and always returning • sheep dog zen • harmonizing with, not excluding, our troublesome life of desire • optimize, not maximize • coming to breakfast when you hear your wife hit the clappers • practice without delay • don’t wait until you’re more calm • don’t think of having *you* let go of *it*, find the conditions that allow *it* to let go of *you* • why you are not successful: it’s difficult to do

"The true spirit of the grain"

Edward Espe Brown at Sacramento Buddhist Meditation Group, January 21, 2007 • Download from SBMG's MP3 Jewels page (donate)

a Taoist quote: begin right and you will be easy • make yourself at home in your body • then welcome your experience home to your heart • Suzuki-roshi and the true spirit of the grain • April Fool’s at Tassajara • can the cook please all of you? • thick oatmeal and where did you go wrong in life? • this may not be the dessert you ordered, but . . . • learning to taste the truth of the moment • you can try to make every moment to your liking • how well does it work? • young Suzuki, the pickled radishes, and no thought • burying in the garden, meditation digging it back up • gaining stability, then the buried distasteful thing arises • just chew and swallow • and be nourished • wintering through it

The treasure in this heap of flesh

Darlene Cohen at Sacramento Buddhist Meditation Group, January 22, 2006 • Download from Darlene Cohen’s dharma talks page or download from SBMG's MP3 Jewels page (donate)

body awareness and direct experience • first impressions pass • paying attention to the first impression of bad news • “so much comfort in the present” • appreciating spoons • a lama’s story of offering his body • the post-it note on the priest’s forehead • "ready to live any of these lives wholeheartedly with humor and the consolation of warm bodies and spoons and pillows" • practice with this body, this mind • do it with what you have right now . . . it changes it a moment anyway • three theories of practice • be experimental • notice your suffering, then something happens • “I did the window panes and I didn’t get enlightened” • give all of yourself to putting the chairs back • minutes of your life • the art gallery and the street scene • understanding what’s appropriate

The gift of nothing

Furyu Nancy Schroeder at San Francisco Zen Center’s Green Gulch Farm, December 3, 2006 • Download from San Francisco Zen Center’s Audio Dharma page (donate)

• the gift of nothing • trying to remember a sesshin • “our minds are exactly the same as the Buddha’s” • “the difference between the Buddha and me has to do with how I feel about the way things are . . . more important and more personal than they really are” • “I met a man who wasn’t there” • to think not thinking • our mind and language serve to separate the universe into twos, or so we imagine • the universe refuses to be separated • our minds are so busy they imagine everything they look at is busy too • the view from riding on a horse • “there is one that is not busy” • the gift for the sitters in sesshin • come back to the imperfect world for our imperfect love •

The energy of this moment has a story to it.

Abbot Ryushin Paul Haller at San Francisco Zen Center, November 11, 2006 • Download from San Francisco Zen Center's Audio Dharma page (donate)

• the ideal – the paramita – of energy • the sequence of the paramitas • a poem: “the loud voice is famous to silence” • the attention to the particularities that initiates the innate energy of the moment • “can we let what we are experiencing break our heart, can it break it with sadness, can it break it with joy; either way . . . can we stay right there with that” • a painful moment in a meeting • giving our energetic emotions "enough space" • can we not contract • “how do you skillfully respond to the passion of your life?" "savoring its momentary occurrence” • “let it be famous, that famous moment when someone hurt my feelings” • “shameless about my own irrationality,” responding with “bemused curiosity rather than a desperate mission” • “the point of zazen . . . it’s ok to be human; it’s not always easy, it’s not always clear, but it has its own fundamental innate authority” • famous like a buttonhole • nothing to prove •

Calm in daily life

Victoria Austin at Insight Meditation Center, August 19, 2001 • Download from Insight Meditation Center's Audio Dharma page (donate)
• practicing with shamata outside of a monastic setting • the conditions for shamata, starting with nourishment • "intentions are like puppies, they need to be frequently fed and cared for" • "even if you can only fulfill your intention for five minutes, that nourishes the intention" • "for every year of practice, I had gained three minutes of equanimity with my mother" • practicing with shamata in meetings

Buddha is not somewhere else

Zenkei Blanche Hartman at San Francisco Zen Center, City Center, December 30, 2006 • Download from San Francisco Zen Center's Audio Dharma page (donate)

• a haiku from Lou Hartman, “that actor serving tea in the zendo thinks he’s me.” • a roshi’s story of the squabbling squashes • the precepts like a sign that says “Danger Thin Ice” • “What we notice is, if we practice, if we really concern ourselves with cultivating the happiness of others, we ourselves become happy.” • “So be completely yourself – without some idea of yourself. It’s the idea of self that gets us trapped. But just be who you are, then you can be Buddha. ‘Cause that’s who you are.”