vow to taste

Tassajara Work Period

2011-09-30T09:37:00.001-07:00

cleaning chimneys,open hearts
first crisp breeze
hinge between summer and fall

Things are not what they seem

2008-07-23T18:15:00.000-07:00

Chikudo Lew Richmond at Vimala Sangha, September 3, 2007 • Download from Vimala Sangha's Teachings page (donate)

“Things are not what they seem, but they are not otherwise” • seeing the pace at which it gets dark • The two halves of Buddhist meditation • First, catching consciousness in the act of putting the world together (and carefully taking that apart) • Second, there is no other world, this world is the pure land • both/and (not either/or) • five step logic system • after thirty or forty years, this gets less mysterious; harder to explain, but less mysterious • sitting with the mind that rests, not the minds that parses • both/and . . . both loving someone and them annoying the hell out of you . . . not either/or • a heart practice, not a mind practice • far beyond all topsy-turvy views • your skin wakes up • looking at each frame • the rope or the snake? • crises, zen sticks and shouting

Hiding a crooked intention (or, Godzilla vs. Dogen!)

2008-07-21T08:33:00.000-07:00

Zachary Smith at San Francisco Zen Center, November 14, 2007 Download from SFZC's Shuso blog (donate)

“Even if you might ignore it in order to hide a crooked intention . . . this ignoring would also be continuous practice” • telling the fox that you can’t hide from the law of cause and effect • What happens when you try to ignore the cause of law and effect? Godzilla! • the modernist approach: only human artifice is required to relieve us from our suffering . . . and deliver us from the law of cause and effect • Then . . . something unexpected is awakened, and the first thing he does is eat something beautiful and modern • At the end, “Aaah, Godzilla: our teacher” • Coming to Zen Center for really good reasons, bringing all your humanity, causes and conditions with you • Hard on ourselves -- in another attempt to escape the law of cause and effect • wrecking legs, making a mess of a hand, moved to tears • “the savage complexity” of the condition of our lives • Huhmmmm that hurts • Pain that no longer stirs things up • Continuously avowing, continuous practice • The remarkable moment of screwing up the chant books • No hope . . . it’s a family matter

The transformative function of zazen

2008-07-16T08:36:00.000-07:00

Taigen Dan Leighton at Ancient Dragon Zen Gate, May 6, 2007 • Download from Ancient Dragon’s Audio Dharma Talk page (donate)
Zazen mind • Deeper level of awareness than the syntactical, calibrating mind • Just the mind we once had before we were caught up in language • It’s not that zazen will accomplish this transformative process – that’s our acquisitive mind; the moment itself is the transformation • Not just thinking, openness to seeing, to hearing • Bringing awareness to our thoughts, which is different from thinking about our thoughts • This is part of how it is to be Eric or Scott or Steve or whoever we are • Capacity and tolerance and openness, beyond our idea of how much capacity we have • Zazen as about finding creative energy; this creative energy unfolds in our activities in the world; these activities resonate with our zazen • Notice your life interests . . . feel how it resonates with your zazen • Our life is alive right now – it’s very easy to ignore this • Can you feel this energy while you watch a cop show on television, while you do the dishes? • Pay attention to the person sitting on your cushion, you don’t need to run away from that person • Bring yourself back to this mind, in the middle of your day, in the middle of a period of zazen • Remember, oh yeah, I’m alive • karmic entanglement and showing compassion for yourself • Bob Dylan and the price to pay • show up • enjoy

Some assembly required.

2008-07-01T11:41:00.000-07:00

Many of the SFZC links are broken now. The new site is excellent. Someday I may fix the old links. And someday, I will start posting again. Cheers.

Humility and humiliation

2007-06-22T11:42:00.000-07:00

Abbot Ryushin Paul Haller at San Francisco Zen Center, April 14, 2007 Download from SFZC's Audio Dharma page (donate)

Rodin’s advice to Roethke • the tiger and the bars • the abbot and the palm pilot • “see what’s going on for us . . . feel what’s going on for us . . . and let that register” • a change of heart • asking, with deep sincerity, ‘what’s going on’ • humbling or humiliating • trying to get the Dalai Lama to understand • like learning the guitar or learning to drive • what’s happening is not under our control, which is a lesson in humility • we have the experience and the experience has us – and we love it • discovering how to dispose oneself to this • there’s a craft to it • discover, hopefully with delight, that the world is bigger than what I think it is • putting down what appears to be the life-and-death process of figuring out how to live • our sincere answer to that • moments that inform us who we are, about what we do when afraid, happy • do I run away, or see the color of fear? • explore on a constant basis to discover what’s going on • patience and naru; not so much something we figure out • humbling, but no need to be humiliating • the self-respect, the confidence, the skill, of living the life we have

Zazen Mind

2007-06-11T18:46:00.000-07:00

Taigen Dan Leighton at Ancient Dragon Zen Gate, March 12, 2007 • Download from Ancient Dragon’s Audio Dharma Talk page (donate)
A brief word about posture and breath • Thinking about mind in zazen • a traditional approach: the different consciousness • Eye consciousness: there is an eye object, an eye organ, and thus there is awareness, consciousness • Mind consciousness: There are thoughts happening • What our brain secretes • Settling into a deeper place, seeing the patterns of thinking • not the heretical lobotomy school of zen • a zen approach: thinking of not thinking, thinking beyond thinking • foreground and background • not getting rid of the ego, but not getting caught by it • an awareness of thinking beyond thinking • not the thinking that cuts things up • koans using words to put things together, not take them apart • difficult to discuss, but available to all, even first-time sitters • one way to get us to open the door

Anger and conflict

2007-05-10T20:28:00.000-07:00

Chikudo Lew Richmond at Vimala Sangha one of a series of classes on Zen and the complexity of daily life, Fall 2004 • Download from Vimala Sangha's Teachings page (donate)

a mistaken idea about zen and anger • what are acute anger and fear? • focus on the needless suffering we create • beyond spontaneous anger, harboring ill will • an obsessive mediation practice that can lay down a groove in your brain • “would you like a newspaper?” • more energy to concentrate in an unwholesome way, easier to let it go • actually feeling the anger, not “being angery” • the truth of anger • broadening the vocabulary of our response • you know, I’m pretty angry with you right now • kind, true, and necessary • find a way to make it workable and find a way to let it go • still carrying that woman

You can't see my not seeing

2007-05-03T09:17:00.000-07:00

Zoketsu Norman Fischer at San Francisco Zen Center's Green Gulch Farm, February 25, 2007 • Download from SFZC's Audio Dharma page (donate)

why can’t you see my not seeing? • you can’t see my seeing • consciousness isn’t anything, yet it’s the most important thing • the aging king and the Buddha • how has the seeing itself changed since you were three years old? • Mother and bagels, death and Buddhism, changing the subject • believing we will not die, but misidentifying the self • many feelings that assume that there is an object in the world called yourself • seeing the box, not the empty space inside • this is all a fundamental basis for practice, learn it for yourself, and then don’t think about it • lovingkindness, not as a nice sentiment, but as the expression of how the world actually feels to us • no inside, no outside, and no in between • mountain seat ceremony and the maturing of a uniquely American and Buddhist institution

Meet our life with grandmotherly eyes

2007-04-13T22:21:00.000-07:00

Abbot Ryushin Paul Haller at San Francisco Zen Center, December 9, 2006 Download from SFZC's Audio Dharma page (donate)

“soft grandmotherly eyes” • “more inclined toward compassion than criticism” • human history: oh that’s a good idea! let’s go! • “sit down and you just watch yourself go and then you get up and watch yourself go” • “zazen is not a process in which you stop doing, zazen is a process in which we wake up to doing” • like the rules of formal poetry • “do it exactly like this and see what’s happening” • being undone by our own doing • the five ranks • don’t be so caught up in the stories you tell yourself • “our so-called waking life’s actually not that different [from dreams] except that in our waking life we confuse ourselves by thinking this is real . . . no, it’s a magnificent mistake . . . truly magnificent, but truly not the only truth in town” • how are you going to learn how to be you? by being you • could this day be some turning point in your life? • who gets the most out of practice? • laying down a burden • letting the water of a new life flow • maybe being you isn’t such a terrible affliction after all

Reclaiming the life of desire

2007-04-11T10:35:00.000-07:00

Steve Weintraub at San Francisco Zen Center, September 23, 2006 • Download from SFZC's Audio Dharma page (donate)

the second noble truth, emptiness, and jumping off a 100-foot pole • enlightenment is just another bad idea • how to kill the heat • desiring things is not the bad guy • a big pasture, not a Procrustean bed • throw away your evil desires? where would you throw them away? • leaving evil desires off the bus? • trying to go to the middle, always missing, and always returning • sheep dog zen • harmonizing with, not excluding, our troublesome life of desire • optimize, not maximize • coming to breakfast when you hear your wife hit the clappers • practice without delay • don’t wait until you’re more calm • don’t think of having *you* let go of *it*, find the conditions that allow *it* to let go of *you* • why you are not successful: it’s difficult to do

"The true spirit of the grain"

2007-02-27T14:15:00.000-08:00

Edward Espe Brown at Sacramento Buddhist Meditation Group, January 21, 2007 • Download from SBMG's MP3 Jewels page (donate)

a Taoist quote: begin right and you will be easy • make yourself at home in your body • then welcome your experience home to your heart • Suzuki-roshi and the true spirit of the grain • April Fool’s at Tassajara • can the cook please all of you? • thick oatmeal and where did you go wrong in life? • this may not be the dessert you ordered, but . . . • learning to taste the truth of the moment • you can try to make every moment to your liking • how well does it work? • young Suzuki, the pickled radishes, and no thought • burying in the garden, meditation digging it back up • gaining stability, then the buried distasteful thing arises • just chew and swallow • and be nourished • wintering through it

The treasure in this heap of flesh

2007-02-14T10:49:00.000-08:00

Darlene Cohen at Sacramento Buddhist Meditation Group, January 22, 2006 • Download from Darlene Cohen’s dharma talks page or download from SBMG's MP3 Jewels page (donate)

body awareness and direct experience • first impressions pass • paying attention to the first impression of bad news • “so much comfort in the present” • appreciating spoons • a lama’s story of offering his body • the post-it note on the priest’s forehead • "ready to live any of these lives wholeheartedly with humor and the consolation of warm bodies and spoons and pillows" • practice with this body, this mind • do it with what you have right now . . . it changes it a moment anyway • three theories of practice • be experimental • notice your suffering, then something happens • “I did the window panes and I didn’t get enlightened” • give all of yourself to putting the chairs back • minutes of your life • the art gallery and the street scene • understanding what’s appropriate

The gift of nothing

2007-02-13T10:10:00.000-08:00

Furyu Nancy Schroeder at San Francisco Zen Center’s Green Gulch Farm, December 3, 2006 • Download from San Francisco Zen Center’s Audio Dharma page (donate)

• the gift of nothing • trying to remember a sesshin • “our minds are exactly the same as the Buddha’s” • “the difference between the Buddha and me has to do with how I feel about the way things are . . . more important and more personal than they really are” • “I met a man who wasn’t there” • to think not thinking • our mind and language serve to separate the universe into twos, or so we imagine • the universe refuses to be separated • our minds are so busy they imagine everything they look at is busy too • the view from riding on a horse • “there is one that is not busy” • the gift for the sitters in sesshin • come back to the imperfect world for our imperfect love •

The energy of this moment has a story to it.

2007-02-08T08:59:00.000-08:00

Abbot Ryushin Paul Haller at San Francisco Zen Center, November 11, 2006 • Download from San Francisco Zen Center's Audio Dharma page (donate)

• the ideal – the paramita – of energy • the sequence of the paramitas • a poem: “the loud voice is famous to silence” • the attention to the particularities that initiates the innate energy of the moment • “can we let what we are experiencing break our heart, can it break it with sadness, can it break it with joy; either way . . . can we stay right there with that” • a painful moment in a meeting • giving our energetic emotions "enough space" • can we not contract • “how do you skillfully respond to the passion of your life?" "savoring its momentary occurrence” • “let it be famous, that famous moment when someone hurt my feelings” • “shameless about my own irrationality,” responding with “bemused curiosity rather than a desperate mission” • “the point of zazen . . . it’s ok to be human; it’s not always easy, it’s not always clear, but it has its own fundamental innate authority” • famous like a buttonhole • nothing to prove •

Calm in daily life

2007-02-05T08:41:00.000-08:00

Victoria Austin at Insight Meditation Center, August 19, 2001 • Download from Insight Meditation Center's Audio Dharma page (donate)
• practicing with shamata outside of a monastic setting • the conditions for shamata, starting with nourishment • "intentions are like puppies, they need to be frequently fed and cared for" • "even if you can only fulfill your intention for five minutes, that nourishes the intention" • "for every year of practice, I had gained three minutes of equanimity with my mother" • practicing with shamata in meetings

Buddha is not somewhere else

2007-02-02T09:02:00.000-08:00

Zenkei Blanche Hartman at San Francisco Zen Center, City Center, December 30, 2006 • Download from San Francisco Zen Center's Audio Dharma page (donate)

• a haiku from Lou Hartman, “that actor serving tea in the zendo thinks he’s me.” • a roshi’s story of the squabbling squashes • the precepts like a sign that says “Danger Thin Ice” • “What we notice is, if we practice, if we really concern ourselves with cultivating the happiness of others, we ourselves become happy.” • “So be completely yourself – without some idea of yourself. It’s the idea of self that gets us trapped. But just be who you are, then you can be Buddha. ‘Cause that’s who you are.”